The story of how Home Schooler Flying in Christ began, for my FLYsisters......
In 2004, I (Cynthia) suffered from severe depression. We’d shifted house (and regions), I was scheduled for major surgery with at least 3 months bedrest, and as a result of that and other circumstances decided to enrol the kids in a 40 student country school across the road from our house (how bad could it be for one year, right?) The school was a nightmare – the bullying was unbelievable. My husband was working shifts at a hospital – one day shift, two afternoon shifts and two night shifts every week. So our sleep patterns weren’t great. In the midst of this, my mother in law was diagnosed with cancer, and 3 months later she was dead. Add financial stress, and the fact that when I’m stressed about anything I don’t sleep..... After 5 months of almost no sleep I was a complete mess! My house was a disaster….I was definitely living in CHAOS. I couldn’t figure out where to start or how to keep on top of things. Every day I would put one foot in front of the other, doing the essentials of feeding and clothing the kids, getting through the day. Every night my brain would race with accusing and panicky thoughts. I’d started homeschooling the kids again too. Finally, I saw a doctor, who diagnosed me with depression. He wanted me to go on anti-depressants, but I just wanted some sleep so my brain would work and I could being to figure my way out of this mess.
The doc agreed to give me sleeping tablets for a four weeks, on the condition that if I wasn’t improving by then, I would go on antidepressants. Three nights of actual sleep later, I began looking for answers to my overwhelming chaos. A friend had mentioned Flylady. We’d just got our first computer and internet connection, so I looked her up. I also looked up the Organiser Lady, which someone had suggested too. Through the Organiser Lady’s site, I linked up with a “clutter buddy” – a homeschooling mother in Indiana named Trisha who was struggling just like me, and had 5 kids, just like me. We would chat via messenger each day, each set a goal to do something, and then report in. We encouraged each other over each success. We both turned to the Flylady system to work on our chaos.
It was Trisha that found a yahoo group for homeschoolers who followed Flylady. She told me about it, and we both joined. It was so exciting – more struggling flybabies who shared our homeschooling too! I threw myself into the group with enthusiasm. Internet, yahoo, groups – they were all brand new to me; I didn’t really know how any of it worked. I also didn’t know that when I joined that the group had kind of slumped and not much was happening with it. In my ignorant enthusiasm, I managed to rev up others, and a lot more chatting and mutual FLYing started to happen. Tracy Ayers was on that group too, along with a few of the other members of our current group. The owner of the group was at the point of being ready to let go of it as life had moved in other directions for her. The co-moderator, Cindy, was the owner of another Yahoo group for homeschooling Flybabies, but with a more strongly Christian focus. She was ready to move on too, and decided to advertise for new moderators to help her. Initially, she accidentally advertised on the group I was on, not her one. I volunteered, with NO idea what a “Moderator” actually did. She apologised for the mistake, as she didn’t have the power to appoint moderators on that group. Tracy, however, was a member of her other group, and had volunteered there and began moderating that group. Meanwhile, the group owner did approach me, and I was appointed moderator. Being an all-or-nothing gal, I threw myself into it with enthusiasm. It felt so good to be doing it, because in the process I was finding my way out of CHAOS in MY home, thanks to Flylady’s babysteps, and in posting what I was doing, I was encouraging others to take their own babysteps, and it was helping them. Turns out, focussing on helping others in this way, was one of the key steps in healing my own depression!
Meanwhile, some discussion was going on behind the scenes…Tracy had suggested to Cindy that the two groups were basically doing the same things, and it would make more sense to combine them….and that I was doing well leading the one group, so maybe they should be combined with me leading the group and Tracy moderating with me. After some discussion, it was decided to form a whole new yahoo group, called Home Schoolers FLYing in Christ, invite all the members of both former groups to it, and then shut down the old groups. This would get rid of all the old members with invalid emails, and allow a whole fresh structure from the get-go, so that is what we did.
The new group went brilliantly from the start. Many of the ladies who are working together to help Tracy were there from the beginning. Others joined over the next few years. Like any such group, there tends to be a core group of very actively involved members, plus some others who just listen in and gain encouragement.
I started running regular Bible or Book group studies – we would read/do things each week, and have a weekly live online chat to discuss. They were a lot of fun, and a great growing and bonding time. It was through one of these chats that a slight difference in viewpoint arose, which led to Dawn, Tracy and I chatting separately to resolve it…and as a result the three of us become very close friends, talking nearly every day for years J. Dawn agreed to become a moderator on the group too, and over time others joined the team to help out.
For many group members, our HSFIC group was the main, if not only, point of contact with like-minded, loving friends. It has provided support and encouragement through many of life’s trails, with members praying for each other, helping each other out where they could, and always being there with a listening ear. Though we are spread out across the States, and I am in New Zealand, we are as close as sisters could be.
I have met Chelle – she and I have been penpals since we were 13 (our mothers were penpals as teens too, then lost touch until that year) – and we spent a few months living in each other’s homes as teens. Years later, we too lost touch for a while, but I hunted her down in 2005, and dragged her into the group too. I actually found her by finding a homeschool support group newsletter on the net that mentioned her, getting in touch with the support group leader, and having her go sit outside Chelle’s house until she was home, to give her a message to contact me.
Various other group members have been able to meet in person when one or the other has happened to travel close enough to do so, but for the most part we are internet FLY sisters, who know that if we don’t meet on this earth, then one day we will meet in heaven – and what a party that will be!
As my own life has become very full in other directions, I recently handed the running of the group over to Lenora, but remain a part of it, as I have found that the heartstrings of this sisterhood are tied tight, and are not something one wants to walk away from, no matter how busy life gets! J It is such a joy and privilege to be part of this special group, and to be able to rally around to support a member who is going through difficulties, as we are doing with Tracy right now. Together in the Lord we can accomplish far and above anything we could do individually!
The doc agreed to give me sleeping tablets for a four weeks, on the condition that if I wasn’t improving by then, I would go on antidepressants. Three nights of actual sleep later, I began looking for answers to my overwhelming chaos. A friend had mentioned Flylady. We’d just got our first computer and internet connection, so I looked her up. I also looked up the Organiser Lady, which someone had suggested too. Through the Organiser Lady’s site, I linked up with a “clutter buddy” – a homeschooling mother in Indiana named Trisha who was struggling just like me, and had 5 kids, just like me. We would chat via messenger each day, each set a goal to do something, and then report in. We encouraged each other over each success. We both turned to the Flylady system to work on our chaos.
It was Trisha that found a yahoo group for homeschoolers who followed Flylady. She told me about it, and we both joined. It was so exciting – more struggling flybabies who shared our homeschooling too! I threw myself into the group with enthusiasm. Internet, yahoo, groups – they were all brand new to me; I didn’t really know how any of it worked. I also didn’t know that when I joined that the group had kind of slumped and not much was happening with it. In my ignorant enthusiasm, I managed to rev up others, and a lot more chatting and mutual FLYing started to happen. Tracy Ayers was on that group too, along with a few of the other members of our current group. The owner of the group was at the point of being ready to let go of it as life had moved in other directions for her. The co-moderator, Cindy, was the owner of another Yahoo group for homeschooling Flybabies, but with a more strongly Christian focus. She was ready to move on too, and decided to advertise for new moderators to help her. Initially, she accidentally advertised on the group I was on, not her one. I volunteered, with NO idea what a “Moderator” actually did. She apologised for the mistake, as she didn’t have the power to appoint moderators on that group. Tracy, however, was a member of her other group, and had volunteered there and began moderating that group. Meanwhile, the group owner did approach me, and I was appointed moderator. Being an all-or-nothing gal, I threw myself into it with enthusiasm. It felt so good to be doing it, because in the process I was finding my way out of CHAOS in MY home, thanks to Flylady’s babysteps, and in posting what I was doing, I was encouraging others to take their own babysteps, and it was helping them. Turns out, focussing on helping others in this way, was one of the key steps in healing my own depression!
Meanwhile, some discussion was going on behind the scenes…Tracy had suggested to Cindy that the two groups were basically doing the same things, and it would make more sense to combine them….and that I was doing well leading the one group, so maybe they should be combined with me leading the group and Tracy moderating with me. After some discussion, it was decided to form a whole new yahoo group, called Home Schoolers FLYing in Christ, invite all the members of both former groups to it, and then shut down the old groups. This would get rid of all the old members with invalid emails, and allow a whole fresh structure from the get-go, so that is what we did.
The new group went brilliantly from the start. Many of the ladies who are working together to help Tracy were there from the beginning. Others joined over the next few years. Like any such group, there tends to be a core group of very actively involved members, plus some others who just listen in and gain encouragement.
I started running regular Bible or Book group studies – we would read/do things each week, and have a weekly live online chat to discuss. They were a lot of fun, and a great growing and bonding time. It was through one of these chats that a slight difference in viewpoint arose, which led to Dawn, Tracy and I chatting separately to resolve it…and as a result the three of us become very close friends, talking nearly every day for years J. Dawn agreed to become a moderator on the group too, and over time others joined the team to help out.
For many group members, our HSFIC group was the main, if not only, point of contact with like-minded, loving friends. It has provided support and encouragement through many of life’s trails, with members praying for each other, helping each other out where they could, and always being there with a listening ear. Though we are spread out across the States, and I am in New Zealand, we are as close as sisters could be.
I have met Chelle – she and I have been penpals since we were 13 (our mothers were penpals as teens too, then lost touch until that year) – and we spent a few months living in each other’s homes as teens. Years later, we too lost touch for a while, but I hunted her down in 2005, and dragged her into the group too. I actually found her by finding a homeschool support group newsletter on the net that mentioned her, getting in touch with the support group leader, and having her go sit outside Chelle’s house until she was home, to give her a message to contact me.
Various other group members have been able to meet in person when one or the other has happened to travel close enough to do so, but for the most part we are internet FLY sisters, who know that if we don’t meet on this earth, then one day we will meet in heaven – and what a party that will be!
As my own life has become very full in other directions, I recently handed the running of the group over to Lenora, but remain a part of it, as I have found that the heartstrings of this sisterhood are tied tight, and are not something one wants to walk away from, no matter how busy life gets! J It is such a joy and privilege to be part of this special group, and to be able to rally around to support a member who is going through difficulties, as we are doing with Tracy right now. Together in the Lord we can accomplish far and above anything we could do individually!
